Auld Lang Syne
by November Rain 19
Summary: A little 'What If' fic. What if Olivia and Alex had run into one another after all these years? Set around Xmas time. A/O


**A/N: Because this idea just wouldn't leave me alone. Plus, I am a huge Alex/Olivia fan. What if they ran into one another by accident after all this time? Song fic, 'cause it is what I do. Lyrics are bold. Thoughts are in **_**italics**_**. Mistakes are my own. This is my first SVU fic. It's only rated M due to the fact it refers to a female/female relationship. There is nothing explicit.  
**

**Warnings: If the idea of two women in a (past) relationship bothers you, hit the back button on your browser. It's okay. I know it isn't for everyone.**

**Spoilers: Eh, nothing intentional. Probably 'Loss' and 'Ghost' in passing. I got away from SVU after Alex left, and I am pseudo reading up on other seasons now. I will be watching when Stephanie March reprises her role as Alex for 6 episodes starting March 10th. The Powers That Be must have heard my prayers. grins  
**

**Disclaimer: No harm intended. Another Auld Lang Syne is by Dan Fogelberg and Law and Order belongs to NBC and Dick Wolf. **

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Auld Lang Syne

By Melissa

**Met my old lover in the grocery store  
The snow was falling Christmas eve  
I stole behind her in the frozen foods  
And I touched her on the sleeve**

Olivia traversed the aisles of the small grocery store. It wasn't terrifically late, but stores were looking to close up early and she just wanted to get something quick for dinner before heading home. Nothing was grabbing her though. Pausing to inspect a box of crackers, she saw a blur out of the corner of her eye.

A woman in a long, dark blue coat with medium length blonde hair had just turned the corner at the end of the aisle. Olivia paused to admire the tall woman. A half smile played across her lips. If she didn't know any better, she would have sworn it was Alexandra Cabot.

There was a twinge in her heart as the memory of SVU's former ADA and her former lover. The almost successful attempt on Alex's life and her time spent in witness protection had ended their all too brief time together. Alex had eventually come back, but she was different. Olivia supposed she was too.

All that time Alex was away forgetting the detective, all Olivia could do was remember the counselor.

The woman grabbed a box off a shelf and went back the way she came. The detective decided to indulge herself and follow this specter of a woman. There was something about her. If she had been wearing those infamous black glasses the detective would have believed it was the now Bureau Chief.

Aisle by aisle they went. The store was tiny, but it was easy to follow her quarry without being obtrusive.

The woman went down the frozen foods aisle. While perusing, the soft ring of a cell phone could be heard. She removed it from her coat pocket and snapped it open.

"Cabot."

That one simple word caused Olivia to momentarily forget to breathe.

It was her.

Olivia cast a brief glance at the ceiling and mouthed the words 'very funny' in its general direction.

The brief conversation was mostly one sided, with Alex making the occasional affirmative response. She hung up her phone and tucked it back from its original hiding spot.

The detective remained rooted to the spot she was standing. She hadn't mentally prepared herself for this. Her brain was screaming something about oxygen, but she didn't pay it much attention.

Hesitantly, she took a few steps forward towards the blonde surveying the freezer.

Olivia then reached out to touch the woman's sleeve.

**She didn't recognize the face at first  
But then her eyes flew open wide  
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse  
And we laughed until we cried.**

"Alex?" Her voice sounded foreign, even to herself, as her hand touched the soft material of the coat.

The younger woman turned towards the sound of her name. She looked at Olivia, with slight confusion. Suddenly, blue eyes went wide as she recognized the detective.

"Liv?" Her voice was soft, almost reverent.

The purse on her shoulder slipped down her arm and fell to the floor, as did the basket she was carrying. The high end bag landed with a soft thump, and stayed where it had fallen.

Alexandra stepped forward and put her arms around Olivia's shoulders. The detective responded by slipping her arms around Alex's trim waist. It felt so familiar and comfortable, that a slight lump formed it each of their throats.

"Is it you?"

If asked, neither would be able to say for certain who voiced the question.

**We went to have ourselves a drink or two  
But couldn't find an open bar  
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store  
And we drank it in her car.**

The embrace lasted for an indeterminate amount of time. Each woman was reluctant to let go of the other.

Alex finally pulled back, taking in the sight of the detective. She likened it to someone dying of thirst finally finding water.

She reached out her hand and gently touched Olivia's hair. It was longer than it had been the last time they had seen one another. "I nearly didn't recognize you."

Olivia couldn't contain her grin. "I know the feeling. I followed you around a bit because I was having a hard time convincing myself it could possibly be you."

A light colored eyebrow arched slightly. Olivia had the good grace to look a tad bit sheepish.

The older woman changed the subject. "Want to grab a drink?"

"Do you think anything is going to be open? It is Christmas Eve."

Olivia's leather jacket creaked slightly as she shrugged her shoulders. She honestly didn't care what they did, as long as she could stay in Alex's presence just a little bit longer.

"I'll run and get a six pack, while you get your groceries."

The women met up at the register and paid for their respective purchases. Olivia almost gave the clerk a $50 bill because she was staring at Alex the entire time.

The exited the tiny store and walked a little ways to the garage where Alex had parked. The car beeped twice and the flashers went off as the doors unlocked.

Olivia gaped a little bit at the car. She was expecting something fantastic, but a brand new Mercedes had caught her off guard. "Wow." This concise statement was followed by a low whistle.

After placing her groceries in the trunk, the attorney went to the driver's side. She smiled at Olivia's obvious admiration of her wheels.

"Are you going to get in?"

"Am I allowed to?"

Alex laughed at that.

**We drank a toast to innocence  
We drank a toast to now  
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness  
But neither one knew how.**

Once both were comfortably settled, Olivia cracked open a beer and handed it to Alex. She then opened her own.

"Of all the grocery stores in all the world, you had to walk into mine." The dark haired woman saluted her companion with her drink.

Alex brought her own drink up. "Here's to be glad I did."

**She said she'd married her an architect  
Who kept her warm and safe and dry  
She would have liked to say she loved the man  
But she didn't like to lie.**

The two chatted amiably for a while. Safe, non threatening topics such as the weather, their work loads and local sports teams.

Olivia was the first to attempt to breach the wall. Besides, her curiosity was getting better of her.

"I seem to recall seeing you in the society pages a little while back."

A faint blush creeped its way up the fair skin of Alex's neck and cheeks. "Yeah," she said bashfully. "I still don't know how they got such a good picture, we were trying so hard to keep them away from the wedding."

Olivia arched a thin eyebrow. "You're profession and your last name kind of promised that." She ribbed gently. "Or should I perhaps say your former last name?"

"No," she said slowly. "I kept my own name." She began to slowly turn her wedding and engagement ring.

"How did your husband take that?"

Alex was quiet for a moment. "He didn't mind."

The older woman nodded. "And what does 'Mr. Alex Cabot' do for a living?"

"His name is Benjamin. He's an architect, and he's quite successful at it."

Olivia regarded her. Alex was uncomfortable for some reason. She wasn't exactly gushing about her husband. But perhaps she wasn't feeling it was right discussing him with her after what they had once shared.

Then something suddenly clicked.

"Do you love him?"

Alex's eyes snapped up but she didn't immediately reply.

"Alex?"

"I…I care about him."

That wasn't exactly a ringing endorsement. The dark haired woman's eyebrows were taking up residence in her hairline. She had heard something similar once before, when Alex had come back to testify against her would be killer. When she spoke of a man she had met while living in the Witness Protection Program.

"I guess it was pressure to lead a normal life. Being an only child, with my last name as you put it, comes with some lofty expectations." She continued in a softer tone. "After having my life 'interrupted' for a couple of years I guess I latched on to the normalcy he provided. Coming back from the dead was no easy chore. He made it a little easier." There was a brief pause. "I told myself I loved him for the longest time, hoping maybe someday I would believe it. It never happened though." She looked down at her lap. "Looks like you could tell from my responses."

"Well," she gestured towards the badge clipped on to her belt. "That's why they pay me the medium sized bucks."

Her reward was a small smile from the attorney.

"You deserve more than that," Olivia said quietly.

"Maybe," was the reply. "But you and I both know we don't always get what we deserve."

**I said the years had been a friend to her  
And that her eyes were still as blue  
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I saw  
Doubt or gratitude.**

Olivia hadn't meant to bring down Alex's mood. She then said the one thing that was at the front most of her mind.

"You look good, Counselor. The years have been kind to you."

The blonde woman tilted her head slightly. "It hasn't been that long, has it?"

'_It's been forever_,' Olivia thought to herself. Out loud, "It's been a few years."

"Yeah…" The word was melancholy, to say the least. Her eyes took on the sheen of tears. "I can't tell you how many times I wanted to pick up the phone and dial your number. I even made it so far as to pick up the receiver a hand full of times."

Olivia's breath caught in her throat. How many times had she done the exact same thing?

**We drank a toast to innocence  
We drank a toast to now  
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness  
But neither one knew how.**

"Did you know that your eyes change color?"

"Hmmm?" came the reply around a sip of beer.

"When you're angry they are light, like ice. When you are passionate or deeply happy about something they are like sapphires, with probably a thousand shades in between." Olivia paused and looked away. She had to catch herself before she mentioned what Alex's eyes looked like when they spent the night together. "They are just as blue as I remember."

When she did find the courage to look back, those enchanting eyes were staring holes into her. Was that doubt she saw in them?

Or maybe gratitude?

"What color are they now?"

For the umpteenth time in the last several hours, Olivia forgot how to breathe.

**We drank a toast to innocence  
We drank a toast to time  
Reliving in our eloquence  
Another auld lang syne...**

**The beer was empty and our tongues were tired  
And running out of things to say  
She gave a kiss to me as I got out  
And I watched her drive away.**

Although Olivia would have stayed in that car forever, she knew she had to let Alex get home. It was the night before Christmas, after all.

As she reached for the door handle, Alex reached out and placed a lithe hand on a leather clad shoulder to stop her.

"I never forgot you, you know." The once formidable prosecutor seemed to be having difficulty keeping eye contact. Her voice lowered considerably. "Some days, the thought of you was the only thing that kept me sane."

"Alex…" Olivia wasn't sure what she wanted to say, or even if she could say anything of meaning or substance.

She was then saved the trouble.

One of Alex's fingers laid against Olivia's lips to quiet her. "Shhh..."

The younger woman leaned in and kissed the brunette on the cheek, extremely close to the corner of her mouth. She seemed to linger there for a very, very long moment.

Olivia had to will herself not to wrap her arms around the blonde and kiss her it would be the last.

"Merry Christmas, Detective."

Olivia did not trust her voice and simply nodded in response. Giving Alex a weak, sad smile as she exited the vehicle.

As she shut the door, she never noticed the shine of threatening tears in deep blue eyes.

The car slowly pulled away from the curb, red tail lights eventually receding into the night.

**Just for a moment I was back at school  
And felt that old familiar pain  
And as I turned to make my way back home  
The snow turned into rain**

The detective sighed heavily as she turned to go home. Apparently it had warmed up just enough for the snow flakes to turn to rain drops.

"Merry Christmas," she said quietly, to no one in particular.

She wouldn't notice until much later that Alex had slipped a business card with some writing on the back into the pocket of her jacket.

The End?

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A/N: Thoughts? I may do a sequel to this. **


End file.
